did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
