I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
