You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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