I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
