why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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