so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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