I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
