whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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