I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
