Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize