brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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