I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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