all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
