wakey wakey hands off snakey
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
