he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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