So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
