Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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