By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
