I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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