I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
