Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
