I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just had sex bonerless
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
