Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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