I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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