How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize