He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
