Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
