so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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