forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
