I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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