mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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