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I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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