is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
