No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
