So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
