I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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