She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
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