I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
