well most of my day revolves around power hour
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
