the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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