Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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