I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
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