You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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