Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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