it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
