i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
