did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
