dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
