So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Can Purell be used as lube?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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