I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
