So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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