some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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