Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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