he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
