wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize