I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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