when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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