i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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